By Tanis Helliwell
My Needs Versus My Responsibility to Others
It’s Sunday morning and another article is due and for the last two days I have not wanted to write it. It’s not that I don’t enjoy writing. It’s more that it’s been raining non-stop for two weeks where I live and I’d much rather curl up with a good science fiction book and have no responsibilities to fulfill. January through March, for those of us who live in North America and Europe, are months designed by nature for hibernation. It’s a time to go inward and dream, and a time to let the old fall away and wait for the new to be reborn. Unfortunately, most of us lead lives and work that are not in accordance with this natural law resulting in our souls and bodies wanting one thing and the outside world wanting something else. You can guess which part usually wins.
Personality Versus Soul Needs
So the dilemma is should I fulfill my responsibility to others and write this article, or fulfill my responsibility to myself, and is there a third option that will satisfy both needs? Actually, it’s even more complicated that satisfying either my own or other’s needs as I have two conflicting needs. My personality wants to read science fiction, eat chocolate, watch videos, and sleep a lot, whereas my soul wants to meditate, go into silence, and perhaps read some spiritual books. These two needs are equally strong and the first calls me to sleep and the second calls me to be awake. Satisfying my personality need seems easy, whereas satisfying my soul need appears extremely difficult if pursued to its ultimate goal of enlightenment.
Neither my personality nor soul wants to write an article as neither can see what benefit it will receive by doing so. The personality, who seeks pleasure, can find no pleasure in sitting at the computer and the soul, seeking spiritual consciousness, finds that it has nothing to say to anyone at this time and so it is premature to commit words to non-existent thoughts. So that leaves me in the present being as truthful as I am able to be and, by speaking to you this way, I am discovering something to say, which is my truth at this moment of time.
Presently, it feels as if I have nothing left to do, say or even be. I don’t mean this to sound depressing, as I’m not depressed. I’m actually at peace with all that I have done to date and feel that the door is closing on one part of my life so that another door can open on the next part. It’s not so much a feeling of wanting to do something different in the world as that I am becoming different. This is just a statement describing, as best I an able, how I feel currently. I also view this state as temporary brought on by a myriad of external and internal circumstances and this state needs to be honoured by myself.
I also do not feel alone in this feeling. From conversations that I have had with others I know that many people are empty right now, empty of thoughts, empty of ideas, even empty of feelings. The best thing that could happen is to sink into this emptiness rather than to buoy ourselves up in false realities and attachments dooming ourselves to revolve continually on the wheel of time reliving where we are at, and not progressing to a new and higher state of truth. The key, as I see it, is to totally be with what is without resistance or attachment and to embrace this ‘what is’ as a mother does its’ child. By doing this, we absorb the lesson inherent in this state of mind and feeling. This is a place where roles, expectations, responsibilities, hopes and fears, even right and wrong cease to exist. It’s also a very difficult place to be in when we are busy working in the world. I’m fortunate that I have some time presently to be on retreat, which I am reframing to think of as an advance.
Surprisingly, I have enjoyed writing this column because, in sharing my present state with you, I have achieved more clarity not just about how I feel, but about why I feel currently as I do. I also hope that some of these thoughts might be helpful to you. My hope is that if you find yourself going through anything similar to what I am describing that you too can take time in your life and work to engage in this process.
Tanis Helliwell, a mystic in the modern world, has brought spiritual consciousness into the mainstream for over 30 years. Since childhood, she has seen and heard elementals, angels, and master teachers in higher dimensions. Tanis is the founder of the International Institute for Transformation (IIT), which offers programs to assist individuals to become conscious creators to work with the spiritual laws that govern our world.
Tanis is the author of The High Beings of Hawaii, Summer with the Leprechauns, Pilgrimage with the Leprechauns, Embraced by Love, Manifest Your Soul’s Purpose, Decoding Your Destiny and Take Your Soul to Work.
For information on Tanis’ courses, click here.